Skip to content




The Apocalypse Guide To Sex

The Apocalypse Guide To Sex

Congratulations! You have survived whatever cataclysm has befallen humanity and now you’re ready to get your groove on. But, before you run out pants around your ankles into the Mad-Maxian hellscape of what’s left of society, remember these five simple rules.

  1. Cannibals will likely be a reality in the apocalyptic dating pool and nothing makes a man drop his guard quicker than a pretty face. So, keep your head on a swivel when getting down or it may end up on the dinner plate!
  2. Beggars can't be choosers. With a huge chunk of the population suddenly gone, you will likely need to lower your standards. They won’t all be tens or fives or likely even twos… 
  3. Don’t fall in love. You have plenty to worry about just trying to survive, so the last thing you need is a relationship. A chance encounter and you’re gone by morning.
  4. Use protection! The good lord only knows where these people have been. The last thing you want to add to the list of stuff you need to deal with at the end of the world is an STD.
  5. Make a point of enjoying yourself. Whether it’s global famine, nuclear proliferation or the old Zombie apocalypse, sex may be your only outlet for joy. Make it count! Go for the gold! Turn in an all-star performance! No time for pushing rope…

ACAL Tough COllection

Now that all the bases have been covered, you’re ready to rack up some apocalyptic numbers! Good luck out there… You’re gonna need it!

Dave P.

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

Recent Articles

Jul 22, 2024

How Close Is Too Close: WWIII

Is the clock irreversibly close to midnight?

Jul 15, 2024

The Last Four Years: A Political Autopsy

Lying cold on the slab, the last four years are lifeless, bloated and rotting.

Jul 15, 2024

Trump Assasination Attempt: Fight!

It is no big secret there is a divide in this country.
Close (esc)

ACAL newsletter

Join the ACAL Newsletter for new releases, special offers, and more content & news!

Age verification

By clicking enter you are verifying that you are old enough to consume alcohol.