The type of alcohol you choose to drink says a lot about you. From a single barrel bourbon to a fruity pina colada, these choices mean something. Gone are the days of the simple cocktail. Now, smoked wood and wild herbs are regularly floated into exotic concoctions made by mustachioed hipsters slinging fusion libations to the eager masses…
But, what drink you choose in this ever evolving market will tell everyone around you exactly what you are all about. Let’s start with the basics.
Lite Beer: This is less of a beverage than a reward for a hard day's work. A blue collar badge of honor worn proudly by those who need not impress with status symbols.
Scotch / Whisk(e)y / Bourbon: A serious choice for the hardened pallet. Some taste like a smokey rotten peat bog and carry a king's ransom for a price. Anyone who ponies up and comes out guns blazing ordering round after round of these, means business. Best to keep your distance and let them work.
Vodka / Gin: Perhaps the easiest of all the liquor to make taste good by mixing. These have limitless options for masking the burn and therefore should be considered the most dangerous! These are relegated to the serious drinker who just doesn’t have the testicular fortitude or cast iron gut to handle the brown stuff. These drinkers will likely want to be your best friend and end up puking on your shoes.
Wine: Only when nobody's looking. Ordering a glass of wine at the bar raises more questions than it offers answers.
Micro Brew Beers: These are tricky. On one hand, there are plenty that are delicious and extremely pleasant to drink. On the other hand, a lot are pallet-blastingly bitter, overpriced, trendy glasses of useless effluvium. If you’re drinking these trying to convince yourself you’re enjoying it, rethink your whole life!
So, the next time you find yourself at your local watering hole, look around. You’ll learn a lot about people from the drink they choose. Cheers!
